Saturday, May 31, 2008 
10:14 PM ♥
THANK GOD FOR
JOANNE! I am happy that there is one more people joining the family of YJCEA2! Rejoice! It is a moment of excitment where we are walking closer toward our goal. I admit that i have been putting my very best for this few weeks for the 'DIE HARD' operation. I will not regret even if the goal has not been met, at least i have put in my 100% in it.
There were only a few people staying after the dinner. Many of them went for the concert put up together by the TPJC band and guitar club, to support Amanda or their friends. Vincent went for VS concert while some went for usher meeting. So, there were less than 10 people who stayed behind. Thus, i went home quite early today as there was nothing for us to do.
As i was taking the train home myself, i make use of the time and though about many things. Perhaps i am considered a deep thinker who think alot. I really did changed alot over this period of time. Not only on the physical fact that i can eat a lot this days, but also in the way i think. I feel that all my negative thoughts are usually generated at night when i am alone. Why does it happens so? Why did some of my friends can to be so good to me, but later become so cold towards me? I do not understand. This world is just full with 'why?'. For now, at least one of my wishes was completed. I still have many more to go before i leave this world. Since i cannot assure that i can win the battle, i rather i give up now. I never take on a battle if i cannot confirm that i will win. Every second is precious to me, every second is a memory to me. Th memories of my classmates and c.o-mates were sufficient, now i just hope to spend more time with the CG members. From the time i set up my mind, i told myself that i do not want to die with regrets. Even though i see that help is already been sent to me, but how long can people help me? For once, for twice, not forever. I still have to overcome the problem myself. Why is the world so cruel? Why do i got depressed everytime? I guess this feeling is what other can feel it, i do not expect others to know. I put on a brave front everyday, mask my fear and loniless with jokes and laughter. I am not like that in the past! I used to be a happy person, i do not have any trouble which drives me nuts. My heart is locked, and the key to my heart is lost. I do not expected any answer by blogging all my problems, but at least i feel better. I never expect any attention from anyone. In my whole life, not many friends are really good to me, such as showing the care and concern; lending a helping hand when i am in need. If i can travel against the time to the past, i will never let this repeat, i will never make myself losing myself... ...
-qi
(i fear the dark)
♡ 
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Saturday, May 31, 2008 10:14 PM ♥
THANK GOD FOR
JOANNE! I am happy that there is one more people joining the family of YJCEA2! Rejoice! It is a moment of excitment where we are walking closer toward our goal. I admit that i have been putting my very best for this few weeks for the 'DIE HARD' operation. I will not regret even if the goal has not been met, at least i have put in my 100% in it.
There were only a few people staying after the dinner. Many of them went for the concert put up together by the TPJC band and guitar club, to support Amanda or their friends. Vincent went for VS concert while some went for usher meeting. So, there were less than 10 people who stayed behind. Thus, i went home quite early today as there was nothing for us to do.
As i was taking the train home myself, i make use of the time and though about many things. Perhaps i am considered a deep thinker who think alot. I really did changed alot over this period of time. Not only on the physical fact that i can eat a lot this days, but also in the way i think. I feel that all my negative thoughts are usually generated at night when i am alone. Why does it happens so? Why did some of my friends can to be so good to me, but later become so cold towards me? I do not understand. This world is just full with 'why?'. For now, at least one of my wishes was completed. I still have many more to go before i leave this world. Since i cannot assure that i can win the battle, i rather i give up now. I never take on a battle if i cannot confirm that i will win. Every second is precious to me, every second is a memory to me. Th memories of my classmates and c.o-mates were sufficient, now i just hope to spend more time with the CG members. From the time i set up my mind, i told myself that i do not want to die with regrets. Even though i see that help is already been sent to me, but how long can people help me? For once, for twice, not forever. I still have to overcome the problem myself. Why is the world so cruel? Why do i got depressed everytime? I guess this feeling is what other can feel it, i do not expect others to know. I put on a brave front everyday, mask my fear and loniless with jokes and laughter. I am not like that in the past! I used to be a happy person, i do not have any trouble which drives me nuts. My heart is locked, and the key to my heart is lost. I do not expected any answer by blogging all my problems, but at least i feel better. I never expect any attention from anyone. In my whole life, not many friends are really good to me, such as showing the care and concern; lending a helping hand when i am in need. If i can travel against the time to the past, i will never let this repeat, i will never make myself losing myself... ...
-qi
(i fear the dark)
♡
February 2006