Tuesday, May 27, 2008 3:53 PM ♥


there has been much problem in the family
siqi's issue, parents' issue etc.
well i m still coping with all this stress with the help of God
i must really say God gave me the strength to face all these problem

yesterday my parents had a serious arguements
i must say that i m quite insensitive because for the past few days i detect no change in the atmosphere in the house
i thought everything was normal but i was wrong
i came home knowing that siqi will be staying over at kin's house and my mum going out
meaning leaving me alone in the house
well, i must admit that i really hate staying at home alone because i m afraid of doing so
i always feel that there is ' someone' else in the house with me
so the thought of staying at home alone is so damn horrible
and what i hate most is that nobody tell me what is going on
everyone just say that i don't need to know becuase i cannot do much to help

well, i cried because i reaally feel that i m not treated as a family
family should keep no secret between them and should be honest with one another
so after siqi left i was left with dad
was having a fever despite eating my mecidine
so i can only make use of this as an excuse to call mum then persuade her come back
really feel so helpless because i cannot really do much to help so i kept crying
aunt then call to check how is my fever
after some talk, dad and mum somehow reconcile
so met up at east point to eat
i really don't feel like going out because i really had a bad headache but no choice
i feel that i should go
walk to east point there meet up with aunt first
she bought our birthday gift together with some stuff for us
really like the jacket she got me
really thanks a lot =)

everything at least came to a close, a happy ending??? i don't know
sometime i really feel fustrated with all my work and things around me
and this really make me want to revert back to who i m in the past
i really had the urge to just stray away from the KOG and then lead the life i used to have
at least i don't have to stay at home and face the family
hate to stay or see their face because i don't want to be related to them
but i did not do that because i know that all these things will not benefit me
i will not resort in cutting myself like what i did in the past
or resort to death because i promise yujun i will not do that
all these things will only bring misery to those who love me
these are inmature acts

i strongly believe that when you love someone, you should not bring pain or worries to the person
all things can be solved by yourself because one can always seek God for help
i did that and i want to tell all the other people out there who does not know God about this
Praise the Lord because God once again touches me and help me overcome one of my problems
or in fact He has really help me solve most of my problem

i really thanks those who really care for me during this period of time, especailly my dearest Darlinx and 08S21 female friends =)

through this incident i really grow up a lot and i m definately ready to shoulder more responsibilty and burden

siqin

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