Sunday, June 15, 2008 1:57 PM ♥


just now i was feeling so happy not i m feeling down again
i was thinking out of stepping out from the protection zone people have been giving mii all the while
i m a weak person
and maybe becuz of this reason
i receive a lot of protection from pp
whether is from aiyo family who stood by mii all the while
or cai juan who has been my listening ear and to give mii advice
some fellow frienz of tpjc who help mii a lot
as my listening ear and really good frienz like my darlinx & some co frienz
i wanted to face all this problems on my own
to learn how to stand independently
but . . .
suddenly
i feel like giving up again
siqi was throwing her temper again
cuz didn have enough time to complete her tution hw
showing her attidue
and i have to bear with it??
when have i not done so
i always give in
say nothing
try to help her if i can
or just try to stop the quarrel
especailly when today is Father's Day
suddenly i feel that what ruwan say is quite true sometimes
emo-ing
why must i always give in to her??
i have been doing so all these while but why m i always ask to change for the sake of her???
why must i compromise her??
because she is down during this period of time??
what about mii?? i m down too !!! yet i m facing all this on my own with the advice given
who is there to give in to mii
i m aready so damn hurt and i have to take in all her attidue
it is damn horrible becuz i canot even express my thoughts
i have to accomodate others
but i m left all alone to face my own problem
i m feeling damn hurt yet i have to con't maintaining the peace in the family
i really feel like going back to who i m in the past
at least the pp i noe truly noe mii
they noe what i feel and think without mii having to say
they noe how hurt i m though i always try to pretend i m ok
but pp i noe nw especailly pp from the church dun seem to noe mii that well
other than cai juan
sometimes the things they say can really increase the burden causing mii to emo more
i m wondering if i shld give up everything for God now
why are the pp who are helping mii are the people from my past, other than aiyo family
so sorry cai juan, i don't think i can con't to stay strong in the Lord anymore
i m thinking of backing out le
because like what i told u earlier
my emotion is like a roller coaster ride
but each down getting down more than up
i don't want to face this alone anymore
though i m quiet and behave normally
but deep down i m still not ok, i guess u can see that

siqin

♥ 0 lovely notes

♡