Sunday, June 15, 2008 12:08 AM ♥


went early to meet nicole
was late becuz of _________________

went service emo-ing
ran to the toliet again, those who noe mii well enough ll noe the reason
i cried again despite warning myself lotts of time not to
i m really hurt to the core
so hurt that i doubt my ability to take it
or will i cut myself again
i wanted to cut myself though others may find it foolish
mii too find it foolish
but when pp get so damn upset
they can do anything
buti didn went off but choose to go for service
nicole sms mii abbt it and i feel that i shld really go sevice so that God can speak to mii
i told cai juan abt it oso
i guess cai juan is the only one who understand the situation most nw
becuz she is my ex-shepherd, more than 2 yrs of friendship as classmate, cg mate, co mate & also aiyo family gang
other than her i realli dunno who to approach to pour out my feelings
god touches mii during services

after service went for dinner with cg mate first
then meet cai juan to talk to her
thank lotts cai juan, u r realli a wonderful friend of mine

i dunno why
but my emotion is like a roller coaster ride
sometimes i feel that wat i m suffering nw is worth it becuz God is the one that i should focus on
sometimes my emotion just overwhelm mii and i strt to cry
i love him a lot and i dun wan to give this relationship up
but . . .

thank ruwan for ur advice too
xinyi & xue er for ur concern
seriouls i really feel like ending my life becuz i really cannot take this anymore
the pain is too overwhelming
and God doesn't seem to take it away
i feel so damn lonely
becuz something that is impt is taken away from my life
suddenly i wonder about my life
is this the kind of life i want etc.
lotts of thoughts
different everytime
i dun seem to be able to take it anymore le
i hatez myself !!!!

siqin

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