Monday, June 02, 2008 
12:28 AM ♥
Today supposed to be a great day for me, but i confessed myself disappointed. I expected a lot of people coming today to study, and then do some sports, but it ends up with only 5 of us. Those who were there were me, michelle, wei en, ruiling and ryan. That was pretty sad! I really enjoyed the day with you guys, thanks a lot! I understand that many people were quite busy with their day with whatever, but i was really looking forward about it. Therefore, there was disappointment within me. I am upset that i may not get to join the the care-group members this 3rd June, i am down with my class outing and C.O. Oh my! I just lost an opportunity to get together with the care-group. So sad! I am really commited to the care-group, trying my best to serve God. Haiz... ... now i can only look forward to the camp. My heart is just filled with disappointment... ...
As i walked home from Tampines East-link foodcourt, i came by the same road junction as i came across yesterday. I was almost died yesterday! As i stood beside the traffic light, which was really as close as the edge of the road, i have the sudden urge to step one step forward. If i really did so, i would have been lying in the coffin by now. The traffic yesterday was really busy, not to mention that it was a saturday. I stood alone, sinking in my thoughts. Suddenly, i wanted to move a step forward to the road, i would have been banged down by a car. I was really deep down in my thoughts, having no idea what was going on around me. That was dangerous! Fortunately, i was able to be aware of my action when a stranger tapped on my shoulder. Thank God, that single tap came in time! I could have been dead. I did quite a lot a thinking this day, thinking about my life and everything. Perhaps if i can stop thinking too much, maybe i will live better. I guess i am born this way, to think. Maybe i do not really fear the night or the dark, it is just that i fear silence and lonliness.
Looking on the scar of my hand, it just reminded me of what i have been going through this time of life. I am not living well. Perhaps i should stop living my life this way, perhaps i should just leave? People were asking me, "how come you did not go ... ...XXXX" whatevr event or what. How should i answer? I say that i am sick? I mean not illness, but "SICK"? No idea how. I am just praying for one moment when i do not have to feel the pain which comes from my heart. Maybe, that very one day, my heart will stop bleeding. I will then enjoy the joy, happiness. I long for that day to come... ... can i still press on?
-qi
( limited time left me)
♡ 
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Monday, June 02, 2008 12:28 AM ♥
Today supposed to be a great day for me, but i confessed myself disappointed. I expected a lot of people coming today to study, and then do some sports, but it ends up with only 5 of us. Those who were there were me, michelle, wei en, ruiling and ryan. That was pretty sad! I really enjoyed the day with you guys, thanks a lot! I understand that many people were quite busy with their day with whatever, but i was really looking forward about it. Therefore, there was disappointment within me. I am upset that i may not get to join the the care-group members this 3rd June, i am down with my class outing and C.O. Oh my! I just lost an opportunity to get together with the care-group. So sad! I am really commited to the care-group, trying my best to serve God. Haiz... ... now i can only look forward to the camp. My heart is just filled with disappointment... ...
As i walked home from Tampines East-link foodcourt, i came by the same road junction as i came across yesterday. I was almost died yesterday! As i stood beside the traffic light, which was really as close as the edge of the road, i have the sudden urge to step one step forward. If i really did so, i would have been lying in the coffin by now. The traffic yesterday was really busy, not to mention that it was a saturday. I stood alone, sinking in my thoughts. Suddenly, i wanted to move a step forward to the road, i would have been banged down by a car. I was really deep down in my thoughts, having no idea what was going on around me. That was dangerous! Fortunately, i was able to be aware of my action when a stranger tapped on my shoulder. Thank God, that single tap came in time! I could have been dead. I did quite a lot a thinking this day, thinking about my life and everything. Perhaps if i can stop thinking too much, maybe i will live better. I guess i am born this way, to think. Maybe i do not really fear the night or the dark, it is just that i fear silence and lonliness.
Looking on the scar of my hand, it just reminded me of what i have been going through this time of life. I am not living well. Perhaps i should stop living my life this way, perhaps i should just leave? People were asking me, "how come you did not go ... ...XXXX" whatevr event or what. How should i answer? I say that i am sick? I mean not illness, but "SICK"? No idea how. I am just praying for one moment when i do not have to feel the pain which comes from my heart. Maybe, that very one day, my heart will stop bleeding. I will then enjoy the joy, happiness. I long for that day to come... ... can i still press on?
-qi
( limited time left me)
♡
February 2006