Thursday, June 26, 2008 
11:53 PM ♥
Finally, 3rd of July is approaching, it is only like next thursday? At least, for i have waited since the start of the holiday, i can go seek help from the professionals. My appointment is like damn early in the morning at Alexander hospital. This is really like so far away from home. But fortunately, my father is going with him, he can drive me there. Phew... ... i can wake up later then. In fact, i have no idea if the appointment is for counselling or what, heck care then! I do hope that they can prescribe me with some medications, at least it can help me to control myself better. Hmm... ... really looking forward to the day.
I have my dinner 'aka' shepherding with Nicole at Tampines Mall "PastaMania". Hmm... ... perhaps i should not eat at "PastaMania" anymore. I find myself puking everytime i went to eat there. I guess the food is simply too oily for me, my stomach cannot take it. The shepherding was pretty free and relax. It is more like chatting other than taking out pen and paper to write the teachings. Hmm... ... i do enjoyed that. I do realised that the main cause of my problems is due to being insecure. Nicole is simply 'digging' everything of me but prompting me with lots of 'why?'. I was flooded by a lot of 'why?'. I know that she is doing this for my own good, i appreciate what she has done. Thanks shepherd! I guess the time has not come yet, i am still not ready to change. As i always like to say "Human do not like to change", this is really true. Changing ourselves is difficult, we are simply way to use to the way we are. I guess i am still not dependent on God yet,the reason is because human strength is insufficient to make the changes. But, i have been running away from my problems from a long time, i have no intentions to face it now. I have no confidence and courage to do that, i do not believe that i can change. Leopard cannot change its spot right? Perhaps, i just wish to continue running away from all my problems and leading a 'stress free' life for the time being. I shall enjoy the days i have... ...
-siqi
i have broken another promise,
sorry
♡ 
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Thursday, June 26, 2008 11:53 PM ♥
Finally, 3rd of July is approaching, it is only like next thursday? At least, for i have waited since the start of the holiday, i can go seek help from the professionals. My appointment is like damn early in the morning at Alexander hospital. This is really like so far away from home. But fortunately, my father is going with him, he can drive me there. Phew... ... i can wake up later then. In fact, i have no idea if the appointment is for counselling or what, heck care then! I do hope that they can prescribe me with some medications, at least it can help me to control myself better. Hmm... ... really looking forward to the day.
I have my dinner 'aka' shepherding with Nicole at Tampines Mall "PastaMania". Hmm... ... perhaps i should not eat at "PastaMania" anymore. I find myself puking everytime i went to eat there. I guess the food is simply too oily for me, my stomach cannot take it. The shepherding was pretty free and relax. It is more like chatting other than taking out pen and paper to write the teachings. Hmm... ... i do enjoyed that. I do realised that the main cause of my problems is due to being insecure. Nicole is simply 'digging' everything of me but prompting me with lots of 'why?'. I was flooded by a lot of 'why?'. I know that she is doing this for my own good, i appreciate what she has done. Thanks shepherd! I guess the time has not come yet, i am still not ready to change. As i always like to say "Human do not like to change", this is really true. Changing ourselves is difficult, we are simply way to use to the way we are. I guess i am still not dependent on God yet,the reason is because human strength is insufficient to make the changes. But, i have been running away from my problems from a long time, i have no intentions to face it now. I have no confidence and courage to do that, i do not believe that i can change. Leopard cannot change its spot right? Perhaps, i just wish to continue running away from all my problems and leading a 'stress free' life for the time being. I shall enjoy the days i have... ...
-siqi
i have broken another promise,
sorry
♡
February 2006