Tuesday, May 20, 2008 10:58 PM ♥
The celebration i have today was totally awesome. I was really surprise that the care-group members remembered that today is my birthday. All the things were great and i really wants to thank them for that. Thank you very much for the celebration, I really loves it!I really love the chocolate cake, not too sweet or bitter, just perfect!
In fact, i am still kind of sad today. This is totally not anyone's fault, it is 100% my problem. I really felt miserable today, so upset that i almost broke into tears. There is something buried deep down in my heart that i cannot lift it up. It is too heavy for me to bear with it. I feel as if there were thousands of knives stabbing on my heart. Ouch! That was very painful!In fact, i do not denied that i am actually an attention seeker. I guess most people cannot tell that i am one, maybe i hid it too well? I really get used in having teachers, or friends' attentions in the past. Maybe that is why i am not used to it now? I urged to pour out all my woes and sorrow, but which poor soul is willingly to lend a listening ear? I know that everyone has their own problem, why should i add more burden on the others? In the past, i do not used to cry, not even 'Adam Khoo's camp'. But now, i cry very often. Why is that so? Am i behaving normal right now? I am not trying to vent out all anger or whatsoever, but i really hope that i can feel much comfortable after sharing all this. I am really getting sick and tired hanging on to what i have now. I prayed to God, to ask him to relieved some of my burdens.But i am still unable to cope right now. I do not want anyone to sympathise me, i do not need anyone to pity me! I just hope that i can really get over with all this.I am very tired of putting a brave front among the people, i am really sick of that. Sometimes, i really hope that i can just go to sleep forever, no more trouble and no more anything, it is just peace in my heart. Bottling all my troubles for many years, i sensed that i am reaching my limit soon... ... exploding very soon. I am trying to refrains my tears from rolling down my cheeks, i am trying to keep cool. My life is really up and down that no words can describe it. If i can be granted a wish, I HOPE THAT I CAN BE PUT TO SLEEP FOREVER WITHOUT ANY TROUBLES LINGERING ME...
-siQi
♡
About the blogger
Layout: Bows, Ribbons and blood.
A space to contain our thoughts. A space to contain memories.
Underline Bold Italicized Strikeout
Tuesday, May 20, 2008 10:58 PM ♥
The celebration i have today was totally awesome. I was really surprise that the care-group members remembered that today is my birthday. All the things were great and i really wants to thank them for that. Thank you very much for the celebration, I really loves it!I really love the chocolate cake, not too sweet or bitter, just perfect!
In fact, i am still kind of sad today. This is totally not anyone's fault, it is 100% my problem. I really felt miserable today, so upset that i almost broke into tears. There is something buried deep down in my heart that i cannot lift it up. It is too heavy for me to bear with it. I feel as if there were thousands of knives stabbing on my heart. Ouch! That was very painful!In fact, i do not denied that i am actually an attention seeker. I guess most people cannot tell that i am one, maybe i hid it too well? I really get used in having teachers, or friends' attentions in the past. Maybe that is why i am not used to it now? I urged to pour out all my woes and sorrow, but which poor soul is willingly to lend a listening ear? I know that everyone has their own problem, why should i add more burden on the others? In the past, i do not used to cry, not even 'Adam Khoo's camp'. But now, i cry very often. Why is that so? Am i behaving normal right now? I am not trying to vent out all anger or whatsoever, but i really hope that i can feel much comfortable after sharing all this. I am really getting sick and tired hanging on to what i have now. I prayed to God, to ask him to relieved some of my burdens.But i am still unable to cope right now. I do not want anyone to sympathise me, i do not need anyone to pity me! I just hope that i can really get over with all this.I am very tired of putting a brave front among the people, i am really sick of that. Sometimes, i really hope that i can just go to sleep forever, no more trouble and no more anything, it is just peace in my heart. Bottling all my troubles for many years, i sensed that i am reaching my limit soon... ... exploding very soon. I am trying to refrains my tears from rolling down my cheeks, i am trying to keep cool. My life is really up and down that no words can describe it. If i can be granted a wish, I HOPE THAT I CAN BE PUT TO SLEEP FOREVER WITHOUT ANY TROUBLES LINGERING ME...
-siQi
♡