Monday, May 26, 2008 
12:26 AM ♥
As usual, i went for tuition at 2.30pm. I was quite tired today after having a tough time to sleep during yesterday night. In fact, i was crying. Anyway, i joined Nicole and company to study at the McDonald at Tampines Mart. Those people whom i saw were Nicole, Michelle, Cai Xuan, Ruiling, Wei En (teddy bear), Ryan and Kim. Cai Xuan left couple of minutes after i arrived, ,while Kim and Ryan came to join us half-way. I have a fillet o' fish extra value meal and addition medium size coke. I was way too full to eat my dinner. Now, i can feel my stomach grumbling. We went to play basketball after our meal near Wei En's place.Cool... ... first time i get to play with them. I guess i can kn ow them better from then. During the game, i was trying to concentrate and be serious about the game, i do not want to let my mind wanders off. They were like saying that i was very serious in the game, but actually i was. After lots of sweating, the feeling was quite great. At least i feel much better. Unfortunately, i got a blister and a cut that hurts a lot. I hope it will heal by tomorrow. I really thank Kim for walking me back. It was quite a distance from my place to her place. I really, really thank her for that!! So, we did some talking and i really get what she was trying to say. Thanks for that! I feel that i was emo-ing at that time, i merely did not speak more than five words each time i open my mouth. I think on this very planet, not a lot of people i feel comfortable talking to. I think there is like only 2? Should be? Anyway, i passed her the gift i bought for her; it was a winnie the pooh. Actually, i have no idea what she likes, so i just bought what i like? I merely did that on my very own account, i really want to thank her for helping me out. I know i am not alone.
At this very moment, i can feel emo AGAIN. It is really irritating! I am totally losing control of myself, it comes and goes. In fact, i was thinking about getting a pen-knife today. I realised that my pen-knife was quite blunt, but i totally forgot about it. Maybe this was just a blessing? i am trying to overcome all this, but it really got to take some time. I really do not want to trouble the people around me, i do not want to be a burden. I have talked to my mother and she was trying to get me to go for counselling,maybe it will get better? It is like OMG, i cannot get to sleep. I have been relying on the Panadol and flu medicine to get me into sleep. Too bad there is lecture tomorrow, i cannot stay up for the whole night. I have been trying to hide my 'blade', trying not to use it. OMG! The feeling was really bad, i am still trying to resist it. I just have the urge to do it... ...OMG! I hope i can overcome it, this feeling is really terrible. I am really hopeless, why i cannot overcome all this? This may seems like a small problem, but why i cannot just get over with it. Pain!! Really still struggling! The fight continues... ... I bet i would not win?
I hate the world...-siqi
♡ 
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Monday, May 26, 2008 12:26 AM ♥
As usual, i went for tuition at 2.30pm. I was quite tired today after having a tough time to sleep during yesterday night. In fact, i was crying. Anyway, i joined Nicole and company to study at the McDonald at Tampines Mart. Those people whom i saw were Nicole, Michelle, Cai Xuan, Ruiling, Wei En (teddy bear), Ryan and Kim. Cai Xuan left couple of minutes after i arrived, ,while Kim and Ryan came to join us half-way. I have a fillet o' fish extra value meal and addition medium size coke. I was way too full to eat my dinner. Now, i can feel my stomach grumbling. We went to play basketball after our meal near Wei En's place.Cool... ... first time i get to play with them. I guess i can kn ow them better from then. During the game, i was trying to concentrate and be serious about the game, i do not want to let my mind wanders off. They were like saying that i was very serious in the game, but actually i was. After lots of sweating, the feeling was quite great. At least i feel much better. Unfortunately, i got a blister and a cut that hurts a lot. I hope it will heal by tomorrow. I really thank Kim for walking me back. It was quite a distance from my place to her place. I really, really thank her for that!! So, we did some talking and i really get what she was trying to say. Thanks for that! I feel that i was emo-ing at that time, i merely did not speak more than five words each time i open my mouth. I think on this very planet, not a lot of people i feel comfortable talking to. I think there is like only 2? Should be? Anyway, i passed her the gift i bought for her; it was a winnie the pooh. Actually, i have no idea what she likes, so i just bought what i like? I merely did that on my very own account, i really want to thank her for helping me out. I know i am not alone.
At this very moment, i can feel emo AGAIN. It is really irritating! I am totally losing control of myself, it comes and goes. In fact, i was thinking about getting a pen-knife today. I realised that my pen-knife was quite blunt, but i totally forgot about it. Maybe this was just a blessing? i am trying to overcome all this, but it really got to take some time. I really do not want to trouble the people around me, i do not want to be a burden. I have talked to my mother and she was trying to get me to go for counselling,maybe it will get better? It is like OMG, i cannot get to sleep. I have been relying on the Panadol and flu medicine to get me into sleep. Too bad there is lecture tomorrow, i cannot stay up for the whole night. I have been trying to hide my 'blade', trying not to use it. OMG! The feeling was really bad, i am still trying to resist it. I just have the urge to do it... ...OMG! I hope i can overcome it, this feeling is really terrible. I am really hopeless, why i cannot overcome all this? This may seems like a small problem, but why i cannot just get over with it. Pain!! Really still struggling! The fight continues... ... I bet i would not win?
I hate the world...-siqi
♡
February 2006