Friday, June 20, 2008 
12:40 PM ♥
Yesterday, my heart was filled with joy, disappointment, anger and hurt. I was really glad that both joanne and wei jie went for our study care group. I am happy that joanne is able to connect well with the care group, and able to enjoy herself in the care group. I am happy for her! However, at the other end, i felt disappointed. I was disappointed with myself that i was not being a good host to my visitor. In fact, those who really went to talk to him were only me and Kim. Even though he shows that he did not mind about that, but i feel very bad from the bottom from my heart. He lived so far away from Tampines that he have to take an hour to travel here from home, i simply just wasted his time. But, i was still very happy that he came. Sadly, he seems to be overwhelm by the things that happened yesterday. The care group speaking in tongues during praise and worship, and also the conversation with Kim. I think Kim just bombed him with too many things, he was simply in confusion. Really sorry about that! I am angry with myself that i did not really prepared him well before he joined us for care group. I can tell that he came unprepared. I am angry with myself that i did nothing to help him to get connected with the people. I brought him there, yet i think not played my part. I am totally in wrong, i am at fault. Perhaps i am not ready for all this yet? I was totally upset by this issue after i received the feedback from him. I totally lost my appetite for dinner.So, i did not spoke much, i was pretty quiet yesterday. In fact, i was emo-ing. After the dinner, i went off first without the group. I was trying to straighten my thoughts, my emotion simply overwhelm me.
Fortunately, i manged to straighten out my thoughts and came out with a decision before i reached home. The decision really made me felt relieved like never before, i was feeling great. At the late of the night, i found myself chatting online with the shepherds. I was chatting with cai juan, my ex shepherd; another hand, my shepherd, nicole; and then Kim, my shepherd's shepherd. What a coincidence? Seriously, i cannot help it, but the truth do hurts alot. I mean a lot! OUCH! I understand that people are just trying to help me, but in the end, i am still the one who can really save myself.
-siqi
♡ 
About the blogger
Layout: Bows, Ribbons and blood.
A space to contain our thoughts. A space to contain memories.
Underline Bold Italicized Strikeout
Friday, June 20, 2008 12:40 PM ♥
Yesterday, my heart was filled with joy, disappointment, anger and hurt. I was really glad that both joanne and wei jie went for our study care group. I am happy that joanne is able to connect well with the care group, and able to enjoy herself in the care group. I am happy for her! However, at the other end, i felt disappointed. I was disappointed with myself that i was not being a good host to my visitor. In fact, those who really went to talk to him were only me and Kim. Even though he shows that he did not mind about that, but i feel very bad from the bottom from my heart. He lived so far away from Tampines that he have to take an hour to travel here from home, i simply just wasted his time. But, i was still very happy that he came. Sadly, he seems to be overwhelm by the things that happened yesterday. The care group speaking in tongues during praise and worship, and also the conversation with Kim. I think Kim just bombed him with too many things, he was simply in confusion. Really sorry about that! I am angry with myself that i did not really prepared him well before he joined us for care group. I can tell that he came unprepared. I am angry with myself that i did nothing to help him to get connected with the people. I brought him there, yet i think not played my part. I am totally in wrong, i am at fault. Perhaps i am not ready for all this yet? I was totally upset by this issue after i received the feedback from him. I totally lost my appetite for dinner.So, i did not spoke much, i was pretty quiet yesterday. In fact, i was emo-ing. After the dinner, i went off first without the group. I was trying to straighten my thoughts, my emotion simply overwhelm me.
Fortunately, i manged to straighten out my thoughts and came out with a decision before i reached home. The decision really made me felt relieved like never before, i was feeling great. At the late of the night, i found myself chatting online with the shepherds. I was chatting with cai juan, my ex shepherd; another hand, my shepherd, nicole; and then Kim, my shepherd's shepherd. What a coincidence? Seriously, i cannot help it, but the truth do hurts alot. I mean a lot! OUCH! I understand that people are just trying to help me, but in the end, i am still the one who can really save myself.
-siqi
♡
February 2006