Monday, January 05, 2009 
1:11 AM ♥
As I was watching the Lifehouse’s skit ‘Everything’ (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA), I started crying again. I guessed this is the only video so far which could make me shed my tears. Perhaps this is because I have gone through all this obstacles myself, so I could remember clearly how I have gone through all these. Really thank God for not forsaken me, but instead save a wretch like me. Thank God for that!
For once in the past, I went into several BGRs. But seriously, what is the point of all this? This kind of ‘love’ cannot fill my emptiness! Humans fail you, but God don’t! BGR kind of love is only temporarily, God’s love is eternally. I strongly believe it!
In the past, I worshiped ‘money’ because I thought that money was everything. But I was so wrong. See what happens now to the value of currency, they depreciate. Banks closed down, the economy doing badly; still think that money is everything? I think not.
To be honest with myself, I drink and mutilate myself in the past. I thought that these are the ways to relieve myself from all the pains and hurts inflicted on me, I wanted to numb myself. But in fact, drinking and mutilating do not help me at all, it became worse. And I sank deeper. These things are so addictive that I was being trapped by it for some period of time; I thought that it was the end of the world. If you think this is so, then you are wrong! (If you don’t believe what I said, you can view the posts I blogged previously in year 2008.)
I tried to commit suicide twice. The first time was stopped by a phone call and the second one failed. I am not ashamed of saying all this because I know that God forgive all my wrong doings in the past when I repented. Death is never the solution. It would just hurt the people around us who love us. This includes Jesus, who died on the cross to save us. He died for us because God see our lives more valuable than anything.
It is because I believe in myself that landed me into all these misery. Instead, believe in God. He never fails us.
you can make your life different.
-siqi
♡ 
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Monday, January 05, 2009 1:11 AM ♥
As I was watching the Lifehouse’s skit ‘Everything’ (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA), I started crying again. I guessed this is the only video so far which could make me shed my tears. Perhaps this is because I have gone through all this obstacles myself, so I could remember clearly how I have gone through all these. Really thank God for not forsaken me, but instead save a wretch like me. Thank God for that!
For once in the past, I went into several BGRs. But seriously, what is the point of all this? This kind of ‘love’ cannot fill my emptiness! Humans fail you, but God don’t! BGR kind of love is only temporarily, God’s love is eternally. I strongly believe it!
In the past, I worshiped ‘money’ because I thought that money was everything. But I was so wrong. See what happens now to the value of currency, they depreciate. Banks closed down, the economy doing badly; still think that money is everything? I think not.
To be honest with myself, I drink and mutilate myself in the past. I thought that these are the ways to relieve myself from all the pains and hurts inflicted on me, I wanted to numb myself. But in fact, drinking and mutilating do not help me at all, it became worse. And I sank deeper. These things are so addictive that I was being trapped by it for some period of time; I thought that it was the end of the world. If you think this is so, then you are wrong! (If you don’t believe what I said, you can view the posts I blogged previously in year 2008.)
I tried to commit suicide twice. The first time was stopped by a phone call and the second one failed. I am not ashamed of saying all this because I know that God forgive all my wrong doings in the past when I repented. Death is never the solution. It would just hurt the people around us who love us. This includes Jesus, who died on the cross to save us. He died for us because God see our lives more valuable than anything.
It is because I believe in myself that landed me into all these misery. Instead, believe in God. He never fails us.
you can make your life different.
-siqi
♡
February 2006