Sunday, November 16, 2008 
12:49 AM ♥
**** THIS IS MY SELF CONFESSION TO GOD
on my way home today, i thought of telling it out because i feel that i should not be so protective of myself, especially to those people who really cares for me
Firstly, i m not really a cheerful person which some people have claimed. Being cheerful is what i used to be, but now, it seems to be as a mask i wear to show others how well i m. I m quite emo sometimes because some changes in my life are difficult for me to accept. I hate changes in my life !!! This is becasue, changes also bring sadness and hurts. It has always being like this. Becasue of what happen in my Sec 2 life, i dread of holidays now. I know that i should not be thinking this way because the friends now are really good people who really cares for me. I can see it, especially my friends from TPJC. They have always been my source of comfort and advice, not forgeting the people from the caregroup. But, what happen in the past do affect me somehow right?
Perhaps some people may find that this is being childish but Siqin is not a strong person who can overcome all obstacles. Perhaps people have yet to see how i break down and get tired of my life. People may say that i m serious, but to me, it is just a weapon to defend myself. This is because i m sending a " don't mess with me " message across. I just want to protact myself from others. through my past experiences, i don't believe others easily.
But, I m glad to have a God there for me 24/7. He loves me and is always there for me, whether i m up or deep down in the pit of darkness. He comfort me, protect me and also help me. He is my listening ear when i m upset or a company when i m alone at night.
God really let me realise how important is family. People who know me well will know that i never like my family. I always complain how they condem me and dislike me. But thing changes, because of family problem. Yes, my family has been facing trouble ever since my birthday past. From my sister to my parents and then to the entire family. I realise how much my sister, Siqi meant to me though i always hope that she will leave me alone. Her trip to India let me realise how important she is and that she has always been giving to me. The problem in the family let me realise that my parents have always been good to me. I really hope that the family will stay on and i can spent the new year with all of them.
As for caregroup, i realise that people in the caregroup have always been caring for me. They have been showering me with a lot of blessing and concern. I used to hate caregroup and always find reasons to shun the people from the caregroup. I used to don't like nicole as my shepherd because i didn't want to change my shepherd. That is why i always find excuse to miss shepherding. But after i finally change my shepherd to shee ting and to another caregroup, i realise that nicole has been very good to me when she is my shepherd. As for shee ting, she is also very good to me. I can really tell how much she loves me, whether is taking time out to shepherd me, buy me honeylemon drink or favourite cake stuff. That is why i really want to appreciate the people around me now.
The teaching today really spoke to me and make me realise how great and loving is God. This teaching really bring sense to me and let me realise my mistakes.
I realise that i m not giving because i always though of whether i have enough money a not. I was only conern if i have enough to serve God, whether is for blessing others or for giving. Well, i should be giving generously because when i meet others need, God will meet mine too. I will have save alot of money is i have not choosen it to spent it going to restaurants for meals instead.
Realising so many sins in my life, i really felt like crying on the bus. But, i didn't because God told me that what i should be doing is repent and start doing the right thing.
That is the reason why i want to make it to the public and apologise to the people whom i hurt.
Through God, i want to be strong. I want to be a strong christian who walk in faith.
THis is my goals for this year 2008
I am left with less than 2 months to complete them
1) Know my family members better
2) Bring my parents to know Christ
3) know the peope from CG better
4) Revise my work twice
5) Bring people to know God
6) Get to know people from CO better
7) Finish New Testi of the bible this year
I want to complete this 7 tasks by this year =)
siqin
♡ 
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Sunday, November 16, 2008 12:49 AM ♥
**** THIS IS MY SELF CONFESSION TO GOD
on my way home today, i thought of telling it out because i feel that i should not be so protective of myself, especially to those people who really cares for me
Firstly, i m not really a cheerful person which some people have claimed. Being cheerful is what i used to be, but now, it seems to be as a mask i wear to show others how well i m. I m quite emo sometimes because some changes in my life are difficult for me to accept. I hate changes in my life !!! This is becasue, changes also bring sadness and hurts. It has always being like this. Becasue of what happen in my Sec 2 life, i dread of holidays now. I know that i should not be thinking this way because the friends now are really good people who really cares for me. I can see it, especially my friends from TPJC. They have always been my source of comfort and advice, not forgeting the people from the caregroup. But, what happen in the past do affect me somehow right?
Perhaps some people may find that this is being childish but Siqin is not a strong person who can overcome all obstacles. Perhaps people have yet to see how i break down and get tired of my life. People may say that i m serious, but to me, it is just a weapon to defend myself. This is because i m sending a " don't mess with me " message across. I just want to protact myself from others. through my past experiences, i don't believe others easily.
But, I m glad to have a God there for me 24/7. He loves me and is always there for me, whether i m up or deep down in the pit of darkness. He comfort me, protect me and also help me. He is my listening ear when i m upset or a company when i m alone at night.
God really let me realise how important is family. People who know me well will know that i never like my family. I always complain how they condem me and dislike me. But thing changes, because of family problem. Yes, my family has been facing trouble ever since my birthday past. From my sister to my parents and then to the entire family. I realise how much my sister, Siqi meant to me though i always hope that she will leave me alone. Her trip to India let me realise how important she is and that she has always been giving to me. The problem in the family let me realise that my parents have always been good to me. I really hope that the family will stay on and i can spent the new year with all of them.
As for caregroup, i realise that people in the caregroup have always been caring for me. They have been showering me with a lot of blessing and concern. I used to hate caregroup and always find reasons to shun the people from the caregroup. I used to don't like nicole as my shepherd because i didn't want to change my shepherd. That is why i always find excuse to miss shepherding. But after i finally change my shepherd to shee ting and to another caregroup, i realise that nicole has been very good to me when she is my shepherd. As for shee ting, she is also very good to me. I can really tell how much she loves me, whether is taking time out to shepherd me, buy me honeylemon drink or favourite cake stuff. That is why i really want to appreciate the people around me now.
The teaching today really spoke to me and make me realise how great and loving is God. This teaching really bring sense to me and let me realise my mistakes.
I realise that i m not giving because i always though of whether i have enough money a not. I was only conern if i have enough to serve God, whether is for blessing others or for giving. Well, i should be giving generously because when i meet others need, God will meet mine too. I will have save alot of money is i have not choosen it to spent it going to restaurants for meals instead.
Realising so many sins in my life, i really felt like crying on the bus. But, i didn't because God told me that what i should be doing is repent and start doing the right thing.
That is the reason why i want to make it to the public and apologise to the people whom i hurt.
Through God, i want to be strong. I want to be a strong christian who walk in faith.
THis is my goals for this year 2008
I am left with less than 2 months to complete them
1) Know my family members better
2) Bring my parents to know Christ
3) know the peope from CG better
4) Revise my work twice
5) Bring people to know God
6) Get to know people from CO better
7) Finish New Testi of the bible this year
I want to complete this 7 tasks by this year =)
siqin
♡
February 2006