Sunday, August 24, 2008 
1:13 AM ♥
As i walked in the rain, i could no longer tell if the water on my face was just rainwater, or my tears. All i want is just someone i could talk to, am i asking too much from God? I could no longer trust myself, i make alot of mistakes at times. What is point of having empathy when people do not even bothered about your feeling? Why do we have to love the people who do not love us? Why do we have to love our enemies who inflicted pain on us? Why do i have to keep myself alive and get tortured every day? What is the point of me changing if it does not change for the better?
My hatred is growing every single day. Day by day, i am drifted away from God. My heart is simply filled with hatred and frustration. Nothing more than that. I feel so small, so invisible. Basically, i am nothing. Nothing at all. I hate this kind of feeling. If God cannot turned my life for the better, i just have to fight for my happiness myself. I did what i could have done already.
Anyway, thank God for granting my request today. I have been praying to God for weeks that i hope that i could attend a church service with my shepherd. And indeed, my wish was granted. Thank God for that.
-siqi
♡ 
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Sunday, August 24, 2008 1:13 AM ♥
As i walked in the rain, i could no longer tell if the water on my face was just rainwater, or my tears. All i want is just someone i could talk to, am i asking too much from God? I could no longer trust myself, i make alot of mistakes at times. What is point of having empathy when people do not even bothered about your feeling? Why do we have to love the people who do not love us? Why do we have to love our enemies who inflicted pain on us? Why do i have to keep myself alive and get tortured every day? What is the point of me changing if it does not change for the better?
My hatred is growing every single day. Day by day, i am drifted away from God. My heart is simply filled with hatred and frustration. Nothing more than that. I feel so small, so invisible. Basically, i am nothing. Nothing at all. I hate this kind of feeling. If God cannot turned my life for the better, i just have to fight for my happiness myself. I did what i could have done already.
Anyway, thank God for granting my request today. I have been praying to God for weeks that i hope that i could attend a church service with my shepherd. And indeed, my wish was granted. Thank God for that.
-siqi
♡
February 2006