Wednesday, October 01, 2008 
7:03 PM ♥
I have simply wasted my day in bed. Oh shit! There are more things I could do if I didn’t spend the time sleeping and dreaming. I guess I must been too exhausted in college over the past few days. I didn’t enjoy a good sleep since today as I was too worried for my project work. Things around me have not been going so well recently, especially in college. There are several things that bother me a lot. It is really difficult for me to love my enemy. It is just so hard for me to love the unlovable ones. I am worried that the seed of hatred would once again grow in my heart. I am afraid that once again, I would be trapped again. As what Calista has said, maybe this is an obstacle God has put it into my life so that I would grow in my tolerance. True. I have been praying for the past few weeks to ask God to grow my tolerance towards others. Maybe God is really putting me into a test? I think I shall believe it this way to stop myself from thinking too much about this. My imagination could run wild very easily.
Another thing today was the first time I do a care group role by myself. I find it quite disappointing because I have to make last minute changes to what I have planned. Unfortunately, the activity I have planned did not suit the theme well, so I have no choice but to scrap off from my plan. So, I bet testimony was quite dry. I really felt disappointed at first because I have planned for the testimony for quite some time ago. So, it was quite disappointing to withdraw it at the last minute. But I believe do not blame anyone for this. I believe that God is in control of everything. God want things turned out this way for a reason. But it is still quite hard for me to mask my disappointment. I am human with feelings.
-siqi
♡ 
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Wednesday, October 01, 2008 7:03 PM ♥
I have simply wasted my day in bed. Oh shit! There are more things I could do if I didn’t spend the time sleeping and dreaming. I guess I must been too exhausted in college over the past few days. I didn’t enjoy a good sleep since today as I was too worried for my project work. Things around me have not been going so well recently, especially in college. There are several things that bother me a lot. It is really difficult for me to love my enemy. It is just so hard for me to love the unlovable ones. I am worried that the seed of hatred would once again grow in my heart. I am afraid that once again, I would be trapped again. As what Calista has said, maybe this is an obstacle God has put it into my life so that I would grow in my tolerance. True. I have been praying for the past few weeks to ask God to grow my tolerance towards others. Maybe God is really putting me into a test? I think I shall believe it this way to stop myself from thinking too much about this. My imagination could run wild very easily.
Another thing today was the first time I do a care group role by myself. I find it quite disappointing because I have to make last minute changes to what I have planned. Unfortunately, the activity I have planned did not suit the theme well, so I have no choice but to scrap off from my plan. So, I bet testimony was quite dry. I really felt disappointed at first because I have planned for the testimony for quite some time ago. So, it was quite disappointing to withdraw it at the last minute. But I believe do not blame anyone for this. I believe that God is in control of everything. God want things turned out this way for a reason. But it is still quite hard for me to mask my disappointment. I am human with feelings.
-siqi
♡
February 2006