Friday, February 13, 2009 
9:06 PM ♥
I guessed it has been quite a long time since I have cried in my dreams. The dream was still fresh in my mind and I could remember almost every details of the dream. In fact, the dream was so clearly associated with the reality that I could barely differentiate the difference. Maybe this was a déjà vu? I hope not. This brings me across to the question: Why am I so unsuccessful or I should consider as a failure in both academically and spiritually? I am definitely not doing well academically by being down for the STAR programme; not doing well spiritually as in till now, I still now ready to be a shepherd. Why? Is this God plan, or I am the one who drives myself into the corner? I feel so pressurized in care group than when I am in school. Why does everyone doing so well except me? Is this God’s plan or not? I lacked of self-confidence when I’m with them; I feel so small in front of them. This feeling is terrible.
People in 08S07 are the people I looked forward every day to. I know that the people in the class are supportive; they gave me the power to stay strong. I know that I do not have to put up a brave front with them around; I can be weak when I am with them. I feel being loved in my class, but not in church. I guessed till now, no one still knows my love language. Maybe they don’t bother to anyway.
Great thanks to the people in class 08S07! You are the best!
-siqi
♡ 
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Friday, February 13, 2009 9:06 PM ♥
I guessed it has been quite a long time since I have cried in my dreams. The dream was still fresh in my mind and I could remember almost every details of the dream. In fact, the dream was so clearly associated with the reality that I could barely differentiate the difference. Maybe this was a déjà vu? I hope not. This brings me across to the question: Why am I so unsuccessful or I should consider as a failure in both academically and spiritually? I am definitely not doing well academically by being down for the STAR programme; not doing well spiritually as in till now, I still now ready to be a shepherd. Why? Is this God plan, or I am the one who drives myself into the corner? I feel so pressurized in care group than when I am in school. Why does everyone doing so well except me? Is this God’s plan or not? I lacked of self-confidence when I’m with them; I feel so small in front of them. This feeling is terrible.
People in 08S07 are the people I looked forward every day to. I know that the people in the class are supportive; they gave me the power to stay strong. I know that I do not have to put up a brave front with them around; I can be weak when I am with them. I feel being loved in my class, but not in church. I guessed till now, no one still knows my love language. Maybe they don’t bother to anyway.
Great thanks to the people in class 08S07! You are the best!
-siqi
♡
February 2006