Wednesday, October 22, 2008 
9:05 PM ♥
Oral presentation dry run is merely 24 hours away, and I am still not fully prepared for it. For once, I no longer worried about myself being able to memorize my script. I am more worried about myself not able to deliver my speech in a proper sequence. I tend to jumble up everything when I am feeling nervous. But I am glad that I did saw my own improvement in today oral presentation. It is very encouraging for me.
For the first time, I begin to question about whether I should keep my love for God in top priority. Why I cannot have the love for my family and friends at the same level of priority as my love for God? Why?
I simply love hanging out with the girls in my class, even more than the people in care group. Perhaps I can strongly feel the sense of belonging when I am with my class, and also see my self-worth as well. Maybe it is because of my low self-esteem that makes me think this way? I am usually alright when I am out with my classmates, but things do not go well when I am with the care group. The people in the class are those bunch of people who makes me laugh. I simply like them a lot. I can truly be myself when I am with them, they are willing to accept the way I am. I am just one human too, I do not like to change. It seems that all my smile and laughter are gone without my friends, they are important.
I think my ‘emo’ mood is back again. It is time to be an ‘emo kid’ again. The time has come for me to hate the world and let the world hate me.
-siqi
♡ 
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Wednesday, October 22, 2008 9:05 PM ♥
Oral presentation dry run is merely 24 hours away, and I am still not fully prepared for it. For once, I no longer worried about myself being able to memorize my script. I am more worried about myself not able to deliver my speech in a proper sequence. I tend to jumble up everything when I am feeling nervous. But I am glad that I did saw my own improvement in today oral presentation. It is very encouraging for me.
For the first time, I begin to question about whether I should keep my love for God in top priority. Why I cannot have the love for my family and friends at the same level of priority as my love for God? Why?
I simply love hanging out with the girls in my class, even more than the people in care group. Perhaps I can strongly feel the sense of belonging when I am with my class, and also see my self-worth as well. Maybe it is because of my low self-esteem that makes me think this way? I am usually alright when I am out with my classmates, but things do not go well when I am with the care group. The people in the class are those bunch of people who makes me laugh. I simply like them a lot. I can truly be myself when I am with them, they are willing to accept the way I am. I am just one human too, I do not like to change. It seems that all my smile and laughter are gone without my friends, they are important.
I think my ‘emo’ mood is back again. It is time to be an ‘emo kid’ again. The time has come for me to hate the world and let the world hate me.
-siqi
♡
February 2006